Avatar’s Pagan Journal

Day 1
Bad start to a week – got dumped on some dull island by the Guardian after he overheard my Muppet joke. Touchy touchy.
Was rescued by a hunky fisherman called Devon. Who does this guy think he is going through my backpack?

Day 2
A bunch of street brats followed me around asking where the circus was. Don’t they know who I am?? Starting to miss Britannia’s freebies and hero worship.

Kept running into walls and giant mushrooms all day long – whoever put that metal pot on my head needs to be shot.

Zilch all to do in Tenebrae except watch executions at the dock. The blond dominatrix is v. hot. Would have asked her out on a romantic date if not for the disturbing idea of the Guardian perving at my love life from above.

Day 3
Am extremely happy to be rid of pesky Companions for a change. As if Iolo’s poetry nights and Dupre’s hangovers weren’t bad enough, all that righteous whining tends to get on your nerves after a while. “Must we do this Avatar?” “Is that virtuous Avatar?” “Do we -have to- break into people’s houses, grab their stuff and kill the guards if they chase us Avatar??”

Day 4
Found some wicked mushrooms. Pagan not so boring after allburrrrrrghhhhmmmheehee.

Day 5
Went to the Valley for a picnic. Wow, if I haven’t had a mushroom nibble just now I’d really believe that I’m surrounded by the giant red-blue spiders oh shit.

Day 6
Travelled to the Plateau. Jumped a lot. Thighs hurt like hell. Had to put a stop to mushroom experiments after a red exploding one nearly burned my foot to a crisp.

Visited Mythran. The old bastard charges a fortune for totally useless spells – what’s the bet I’ll only ever need the very last one?

Turns out, everyone in this place thinks the Guardian is some sort of a savior – what a joker, that guy!

Explored the Plateau caverns. Found a door to an add-on; I hope they’ll put some cool weapons in there for me!

Day 7
Visited Necromancers. Vividos is one boring whinger. Wah wah Mordea took our ceremonial dagger. Wah wah we have staff shortage – hmm, maybe it’s just that the idea of living in a dusty masoleum with your elbows buried in dead and rotting flesh all day does not sound like a great career opportunity to most -normal- people.

Day 8
Had a word with Aramina. Nice wench. Gave me a key to Mordea’s bedroom after I promised to set her up with Devon. Asked her about Mordea’s bed… habits, but only got giggles.

Got the dagger. Mordea is v. pretty when asleep, but decided not to push my luck.

Helped out in a grisly ritual murder. Threw up my dinner afterwards.

Day 9
Ran and jumped a lot. Flying platforms v. annoying.

Got yelled at by Lithos. Stupid rockface. Nicked The Heart of the Earth from some temple or other – that will show him.

Day 10
What a waste of a day. Was sent on a Pilgrimage, with a promise from Vividos of like a totally awesome mind-blowing experience dude (what could it be, some special mushrooms maybe?). Instead, spent the day ducking giant spiky rolling balls and talking to some daft old statues.

Day 11
Mordea took a tumble off the docks after a screaming match with Devon. Damn it, should have taken my chance while she was around.

Day 12
Released Hydros today after she promised to teach me the walk-on-the-water party trick Devon acts so smug about. Ungrateful bitch didn’t even say thank you.

Day 13
Completed Theurgy Training Course a couple of hours after arriving at Argentrock Isle – go me!

Had fun all day with the “Hear Truth” spell; got enough dirty secrets to blackmail just about everyone in Tenebrae. So none of that “let’s lynch the bastard for releasing Hydros”, all right people?

Talked to Stratos. She’s not that bad.

Stole The Breath of Wind from Stratos, thus sending Pagan’s entire healthcare system spiralling down the drain. Oh well, they can always convert the monastery into casino or something.

Day 14
Went to see the Sorcerers. Boring place, some good barbecue spots around though.

Bane is hot hot hot. Beren will probably kill me if I try anything.

Getting fed up with the Guardian’s ceaseless taunting. Ok, so he’s tearing Britannia apart, does he have to rub it into my face every five minutes and spoil my vacation?

Day 15
Bane is still not trying to seduce me. What’s wrong with her for crying out loud??

Ran into Arcadion, who pretended he didn’t recognise me. Just wait until the Isle of Fire, pal.

Day 16
Jumped a lot. Summoned Pyros today. Looks like a second-hand Balrog if you ask me.

Killed Malchir. My, do these Sorcerers suck at hand-to-hand combat. Keep your fancy fireworks guys, nothing beats mindless hacking and slashing in my book.

Day 17
Became the Titan of Ether. Yay me! I bet these new powers will be very handy once I’m back in Britannia.

Finally left Pagan, leaving behind a trail of death, destruction and social upheaval; ie, business as usual.

Day 18
WTF??? One minute I’m standing on the top of a mountain, the next one I’m in my bed on Earth with Hawkwind’s voice ordering me around. Oh well, I’m sure they’ll explain everything.

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